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Lost Causes and Silver Linings"I don't watch tv." He says as he flicks his cigarette.
Marlboro red's, always.
"Oh..." I mumble
"I'm sorry. I just assumed..." I say,
but I stop
'cause it's all wrong again,
"Go spew your bullshit to someone who's willing to swallow it."
He is acidic yet sympathetic,
soft, always soft.
"Get on with your life..." he pauses with split-second hesitation,
"...and stay the fuck out of mine."
I see concern creasing betwixt his brows, wrinkles of remorse,
And I think maybe, just maybe
he'll miss me
'cause god knows
"I'll miss you..."
"Don't. Just don't."
His words reverberate through my veins; lava cauterizing arteries.
"Why do you insist on making this harder on yourself?
You knew the situation was temporary,
and we aren't even the same people anymore.
I'm not the same anymore...
I'm sorry if you can't understand but that's just how it is.
Penitence.It was sheer magnetism. Gravity.
Some might even call it fate.
When I feel the undesirable pull of death
I follow storm clouds patiently,
waiting for God to release himself.
UntitledIt wasn't outright. It wasn't intentional.
I mean it's not like you meant to but still
here I am
with an "accidental" scalpel
pressed to my underbelly.
Surgical steel threatening my navel.
And I shoulda known better.
Shoulda seen what was coming next.
There's a sickening sloshing flop
as intestines distend from my stomach.
A thud of blood and mud as they saturate into the soil.
I stay to watch the steam of body heat rise up from my organs. Dense vapors dispersing into the morning mist.
And I expected pain or possibly death but there was nothing, a vacancy
"Just a taste..?"
Fangs and a forked tongue
snake in the grass.
"If she is the one you want then go..."
Diseased.I can't think. Something is wrong with my insides. I can feel the twist of intestines strangling my stomach.
It hurts like cancer, like leprosy. Gang-green in my gullet, chemical burns in my bones.
and it's in me
it is me
memories like lava
acidic liquids cauterizing life
Goodbye Means I Love You“How can you be so obtuse?”
Jessica’s eyes look crinkled, contemplative.
Slowly her expression softens, confusion creasing into her facial features.
“What happened to you?”
And I’m silent, staring back at her, blank-faced and stone-still.
Why should I explain it? Why even bother to say sorry? I wouldn’t mean it anyway.
“We need you, ya’ know. The both of us do.”
And for a second I stutter, faltering in resolve.
“You’re the strong one, the practical one. What are we supposed to do without you?”
For a moment I remain undecided, entertaining the thought of giving up,
staying here with my family and friends.
“Jess…you know I can’t. You’ve known for quite some time.”</i>
I pronounce each syllable with intention, trying to force understanding into he
Love and Long DistanceEven if it was me, somehow I feel it wouldn’t be enough. Still… always.
How could I say it?
I could never be
What you want me to
You’d pull me under
Just to save yourself…
So hey, guess what? You’re still not here.
Not that it bothers me.
Not that I believe you’d actually tell the truth anyway.
I am a toy, hardly worth playin’ with.
Too far away, always
And sometimes I feel that you love me,
And and and it is stabbing
because how could I doubt you?
the beauty of an immaculate nightmarei.
I remember the warmth, how it whispered across my skin like an enigma.
A shy silence, a fluttering murmur.
I remember the electricity, static butterflies sparking in my stomach.
An energy quivering, vibrating my organs.
There’s chalk in my skull
I am streaming
whimsical tufts of white
I remember something in the water
like cotton or oxygen
frothing bubbles of fabric
She seemed to prefer clean sheets
sleeping on sterile satin
silken and garish
Still I yearned to look past
the ammonia and immaculate mattress
wanting to love her for who she was
to forget all that she had done.
Googily-eyed pacifist, straining
Always the chopping, butchered
then glued back together.
Almost cruel. Almost.
I Hate FacebookAnd to be quite frank, you make me sick.
And I can’t do it. I can’t do it anymore.
Sit and sift through their lives.
Preening and polished.
And I think I hate them.
Or maybe it’s myself I hate.
The lack of supposed importance.
The lack of substantial proof. I was there, I was happy.
And sometimes we are alive even when we are dead.
Tidbits of time caught on film.
Faces trapped in photographs.
Something. I was someone.
UntitledA bloody mess in the room
Oops I'm sorry
I killed the groom
Sobs and cries everywhere
I smile happily
And loves the despair
Somber faces on the field
Smirk upon my victory
Broken hearts won't be healed
Stroke the frills of her dress
The white now turned crimson with my work
One more life made less...
The place where they were to be married
The caskets were laid
Soon to be buried...
GoneI walk down the steps
I see all the marks I know that there gone
I know I cannot help
I sit on the floor looking round I see where they lay
I see all around and I watch all the blood dripping down.
The Great ThiefMy empty gaze
and bony smile
these features of mine
will leave you as pale
as my accursed face
Shrouded am I
in black robes
and dark intent
and like a thief in the night
I come to steal you away
Tears may fall at my theft
but I could care less
After all I've been doing this
Since the beginning
And I don't see an end to my thievery
Many have tried
but all have failed
to escape my grasp
Little do you know
that my reach knows no bounds
No matter how far you run
No matter where you hide
I will find you
and I will steal you away
to my realm of Peace and Darkness
To fight me
is to fight Fate
But please do continue
To fight me,
'cause it's no fun if you just let me take you.
You can hear the sky ringing, ringing with the sounds of war
The ground has turned to ash, cinders left behind by these fucking monkeys
Monkeys and their petty quarrels
You can feel, you hear the sound of burning
A world destroyed by a race who was left behind to care for it
Humans and their ridiculous fighting, the never ending fighting
The ghosts take you into the space betwixt spaces, and you can see all
You begin to live vicariously, watching through the eyes of another
And when one pair of eyes goes dark, you find another
And like this, you witness the fall of empires
The destruction of nations
The end of all
You watch as society collapses and rots
You watch as worms devour all
And the snakes start to sing
Bloodlust.This world is merciless,
Cruel, unforgiving, and worthless.
But at the same time the world is amazing,
Wonderful, forgiving, and breath taking.
The cruel is what I see almost all the time,
The breath taking side is so rare its almost a crime,
People bully and hurt others for fun,
When you're in the corner and covered in their tall shadows its hard to see the sun.
What doesn't make sense is the innocents are always afraid of these people,
What makes even less sense is they believe the things that turn out to be so evil,
I hope the people who call them names and push them down know that they might be alone,
I hope they know that those mean bullies make them feel like they have no one to turn too, that they're on their own,
I think that the people who get hurt don't stand up for themselves because they're afraid,
Its weird how someone can be afraid of a peer yet not be afraid of a blade,
Sometimes I wonder why other people bully the innocents why the make them go through so much pain,
Eyes of the NightEyes of the Night
Common people mutter that the night has eyes
They never know whose eyes those are
Or what they see
The dimensions of vision may differ from theirs
But nobody knows what that might be
Creatures of the night always look at our world differently
We who are living see from the light
The creatures of darkness see from the darkness of the night
Pupils glow like the eyes of the cat
They dart to and fro as though watching us pass
Then they hide with the first signs of morning light
To await the falling of another night
CasketSkin that splinters by day and burns by night,
Shaking in the corner where wailing voices echo,
Itching the skin until blood spills,
Will it ever ease the tension?
Skin that trembles by day and shudders by night,
Vomiting in the corner where crows shrieking echoes,
Coughing until blood reaches the throat,
Will it ever ease the agony?
Whispers in the DarknessWhispers in the Dark*
This night has stirred
It is not as quiet as I thought
In the distance ahead
There came a voice
A whisper in the darkness
It said, "The Old Ones were.
The Old Ones are.
The Old Ones shall be."
Whose voice it is I know not
Nor do I care to know.
Some things are best
When left unknown.
*The Whisperer in the Darkness, Nyarlathotep, by H P Lovecraft
The little ones stay in their beds and say good night to their day. They snuggle into the sheets and hope to dream sweet dreams. The moon shone through the window and the pillows are fluffed just right. Sleep would take them very soon this night. A creak in the house, the wind through the chimes. Taking their turns with rhythm and rhymes. The child’s smile fades as he drifts even deeper. Not thinking quite clearly of creaks creaking closer.
When the Night comes close don’t open your eyes. When the Night comes close to sing sweet lullabies; to whisper the sleep into your ears. Don’t whip open your eyes because then you will see. To fear the Night is to fear me
Clarity Through Pinhole EyesThis leather-faced beauty, once belonged to me.
Empty-headed nostalgia stained to consciousness. Watch the concrete-chunk agony leak through pin pricked eyelids.
Still she cannot feel it.
Thirsty fingers reaching through the wax rib-flesh. A quiet pleading; smoke curling through the eardrum. Voices taunting
t h o s e h a n d s
To mutilate the most tender, fragile muscle.
Oh and it burns
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More