|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Diseased.I can't think. Something is wrong with my insides. I can feel the twist of intestines strangling my stomach.
It hurts like cancer, like leprosy. Gang-green in my gullet, chemical burns in my bones.
and it's in me
it is me
memories like lava
acidic liquids cauterizing life
Goodbye Means I Love You“How can you be so obtuse?”
Jessica’s eyes look crinkled, contemplative.
Slowly her expression softens, confusion creasing into her facial features.
“What happened to you?”
And I’m silent, staring back at her, blank-faced and stone-still.
Why should I explain it? Why even bother to say sorry? I wouldn’t mean it anyway.
“We need you, ya’ know. The both of us do.”
And for a second I stutter, faltering in resolve.
“You’re the strong one, the practical one. What are we supposed to do without you?”
For a moment I remain undecided, entertaining the thought of giving up,
staying here with my family and friends.
“Jess…you know I can’t. You’ve known for quite some time.”</i>
I pronounce each syllable with intention, trying to force understanding into he
Love and Long DistanceEven if it was me, somehow I feel it wouldn’t be enough. Still… always.
How could I say it?
I could never be
What you want me to
You’d pull me under
Just to save yourself…
So hey, guess what? You’re still not here.
Not that it bothers me.
Not that I believe you’d actually tell the truth anyway.
I am a toy, hardly worth playin’ with.
Too far away, always
And sometimes I feel that you love me,
And and and it is stabbing
because how could I doubt you?
the beauty of an immaculate nightmarei.
I remember the warmth, how it whispered across my skin like an enigma.
A shy silence, a fluttering murmur.
I remember the electricity, static butterflies sparking in my stomach.
An energy quivering, vibrating my organs.
There’s chalk in my skull
I am streaming
whimsical tufts of white
I remember something in the water
like cotton or oxygen
frothing bubbles of fabric
She seemed to prefer clean sheets
sleeping on sterile satin
silken and garish
Still I yearned to look past
the ammonia and immaculate mattress
wanting to love her for who she was
to forget all that she had done.
Googily-eyed pacifist, straining
Always the chopping, butchered
then glued back together.
Almost cruel. Almost.
I Hate FacebookAnd to be quite frank, you make me sick.
And I can’t do it. I can’t do it anymore.
Sit and sift through their lives.
Preening and polished.
And I think I hate them.
Or maybe it’s myself I hate.
The lack of supposed importance.
The lack of substantial proof. I was there, I was happy.
And sometimes we are alive even when we are dead.
Tidbits of time caught on film.
Faces trapped in photographs.
Something. I was someone.
SimpleLife with you; And I remember the snow globe of the sky at midnight
How the stars looked like fireflies caught in cellophane
Obsidian pigments pulling them to space.
I can no longer remember the last time I was here.
I grasp at the wild lupine; an estranged softness grasped betwixt my fingers.
And I’ll miss you, even when I can no longer remember your name.
Because you are special in all the ways that wildflowers are not.
Smoker's EpiphanySlipping through a puff of smoke
exaggerated wisps slipping through my subconscious
and I am emptier than before, less than I was
something subtle and hearty
smoothened and soothing
it's almost relief
Seeing Red AgainShe kept saying something about cardinals, yammering on while I continued to study the swaying cattails, watching sunlight and wind smear through the reeds. I heard her mumbling something about beauty and youth and color but I couldn't quite hear her. I was captivated by a flaming sunset, observing the fire trickle through rippled lake water. Seeing for the first time an effervescent inferno dancing on ever-distant hills. I yearned for heat.
She told me of blood: moist, hissing, exquisite.
She said it was fire; a delectable, searing ecstasy.
"It feels like roses, maraschino cherries, iron scalding across your tongue."
Head down, shoulders slumped. She glared through a veil of strawberry blonde hair, delicate freckles glimmering beneath the sheen. She then noticed me standing beside her, holding a razor and smoking a Marlboro Red. She scrutinized my perfection, glowering at the silken ivory softening my features, at the sable tendrils spooling over my shoulders
The Nectars of Irony and Self-PreservationInverted influx
I have not the strength to care.
Your eyes were shark skin
greasy, greasy tears.
Honesty was always optional
but I couldn't quite grasp it
why someone would say
the exact opposite
of what they really mean.
Then I thought of irony and of you
and that grin
that isn't really even a grin
it's a snicker.
The sweetness of enjoying your own joke.
NightmareNot a single light
In my sight
My soul is
A creature is lurking
Right behind me
Ending my life of misery
Bullied kidBlinded by the suffering
And the rage
Looking for revenge
Seeking to kill
The ones who make his life
A living hell
While imagining their deaths
Slow and painful deaths
Just like they deserve
This used to be me
Not so long ago...
NightmaresI know you, I walked with you
Once upon a dream…
Actually, it was a nightmare-
And I was running.
ThanksI just wanted to play
The new game you showed me
That excellent game
My color had gone
The world seemed bleak
But then I saw that game
It brought back the color
That I had missed for so long
The smile I had lost appeared
When I saw the bright reds
Ashes to ashesBurnt remains float on the draft,
A lazy dance on hidden currents,
Twirling, soaring, plunging into the gap
between charred floorboards
and ashen sills;
Motes blurring into shadowed spectres,
Flashing in shafts of sunlight
that penetrate gloomy rooms,
Tales long forgotten
remembered in the woodgrain;
Void of feeling...
Disturbing footprints scattered,
Chaotic paths of desperation
running in circles,
Sprinting to a standstill
on black-veined tiles;
Cold as ice...
Splashes of vibrance embracing
silver plated moonbeams,
Ashes to ashes,
And shackled souls
battered to the bone;
Your words taste of dust.
Is ripping my soul in two
The light that faded
Had lived once before
But gone now
Hiding in the dark
For someone to drag it out
The slight tick of the clock
Showing how time has erased
The sanity in me
My heart now feral
Dying from hate
No one is left
Clarity Through Pinhole EyesThis leather-faced beauty, once belonged to me.
Empty-headed nostalgia stained to consciousness. Watch the concrete-chunk agony leak through pin pricked eyelids.
Still she cannot feel it.
Thirsty fingers reaching through the wax rib-flesh. A quiet pleading; smoke curling through the eardrum. Voices taunting
t h o s e h a n d s
To mutilate the most tender, fragile muscle.
Oh and it burns
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More